Week 22 – Going it Alone!

New ideas/experiences challenge our thinking and inevitably force us to construct new knowledge.

I am trying to be mindful of this.  I am taking a class at university that is challenging my way of thinking – and the way I conduct myself.  The class is set in a social, collaborative environment.  It is a group of women talking about women and how we best learn and how we could best teach women.  The class is very comfortable – so the internal struggles and conflicts are non-existent.  Everyone shares and creativity ensues.

I love this class!  The concepts are difficult, but our knowledge is created mutually within the group.  The only conflicts experienced are those that challenge our existing beliefs – causing us to think critically and possibly alter our point of view.

What does this have to do with my training?!!

Well, I have decided to leave my trainer and go it alone.  I always thought I needed someone to instruct me when/what to eat, how to train.  This is something I believed about myself.  I didn’t think I could do it on my own.  Well, after thinking critically about it, I have decided that YES I can!

Here goes🙂

Melissa


Week 21 – Day 2 — A-ha!!!!

I’m on a flight pondering…it isn’t very often that we have time to ponder these days!!

This journey, my attempt to get my metabolism back in check, has now spanned 5 months. During this time I have learned a lot about myself – perhaps some things that I didn’t want to admit.

I knew that my view of food, and what was normal was skewed. I had no idea how to eat without a meal plan – or was that an excuse? For months I would have whatever I wanted, because my metabolism was so bad it didn’t matter anymore – but was this true?

I, very cleverly, convinced myself that I was a lost cause and that the damage was done. I used my metabolism as a crutch, so that I DIDN’T need to worry about food and weight….

At the time I was convinced that I had done serious damage – and perhaps I did. But now I am realizing that half of my trouble was likely a result of my need to blame the issue on something else, something outside of my actions, something out of my control.

These past few weeks I have had a revelation! An “a-ha” moment!! This may seem really simple, but I just needed to realize that I control my weight. I make the decision what to eat, when to eat it, the amount of activity I do, etc. Regardless of the training I have done in the past, I truly know how to eat and train – the problem was that I just didn’t want to do it anymore.

Here and now – I am taking back control of my actions and thoughts about nutrition and training. I am determined to get to a happy place, and I will.

A bit of a heavy, personal rant! Just got on a roll… And kept on rolling!!

Has anyone else had experiences like this? Have you ever talked yourself into believing something was wrong…when it really was not?

Melissa


Week 20 – Day 6 — Catchy Motivation

I went to see a bodybuilding show today.  Everyone looked fantastic!  There was a lot of hard work and dedication!  It was fun to be in the crowd watching, as opposed to being part of the show.  I definitely enjoyed it.

It is fantastic to see people reach their goals.  The competitors presented themselves very professionally, and you could see their pride and enthusiasm shining through.  What a wonderful experience!

My motivation is through the roof.  I think I may have caught it from the competitors at the show today🙂  There is nothing like seeing what is possible, to give you that extra push.

I am feeling fine!  I started a new nutrition plan this week, and have endless energy🙂  Woot!  Now I have increased motivation to boot!

Go me!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend everyone!

Melissa


Week 19 – Day 5 — Comfort Zone = No Change Zone!

It seems as though I am a Friday night kind of blogger🙂

This was my third week back at the gym – back in my old stomping grounds!

When I was training for competition I loved being in the gym.  I loved everything about it.  At that time I was really comfortable in my skin and throwing a bit of weight around didn’t bother me one bit.

Up until three weeks ago I had been doing the majority of my workouts at home.  I really enjoyed this because I didn’t have to worry about the “gym crowd” being around.  I would saunter down to my basement and get my workout in.  This quickly became my comfort zone.

Or was it my “No Change Zone”?  Let me try to explain what I mean…

The recent changes in my training plan have me back at the gym.  This was really tough for me at first (gym anxiety).  I was nervous about seeing people there that I used to see when I was in competition shape.  I was constantly worried about what they were thinking…if they would think I had just given up.  I kind of sort of maybe really wanted to walk around with a sign on my back that said “Metabolically Damaged”.

Summary of my last three weeks’ gym experience:

Week 1 – Ahhhhh!!!!  This is terrible!  I just want to go back home, put on my jammies and crawl into bed.

Week 2 – OK Melissa, it’s OK.  You’re doing great.  Whatever you do, do not make eye contact.

Week 3 – This isn’t so bad.  Stop pretending like you don’t see people!  Say hi!  You’re working on being healthy…and so is everyone else in the gym!

I have learned that you have to be uncomfortable to make progress.  Nothing will change if you do the same things all the time.  Getting out of your comfort zone is key!

Great changes are a comin’!  I just have to keep pushing myself – and keep stepping outside of what I am used to.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Melissa


Week 18 – Day 7 — Measuring Progress

I hit a small speed-bump along my road to recovery this week.  It was the “Progress” speed-bump.

I have been moving along on this journey fairly well.  I have made healthy changes in my life through following a nutrition and training plan to a “T”.

Then came ….the bump!

I decided to hop on the scale, just for kicks.  To my surprise the number on the scale was the exact same as when I started this process 18 weeks ago.  This surprised me, and brought me down a few notches.  All I could think was, “with all of the changes that I have made…why is that number being so stubborn?”

After a bit of time, I came to my senses.  My progress is not entirely measured by the number on the scale.

Since starting this process I can name a number of areas in my life that have improved.  I am happier.  I have time to do the things that I love.  I have a healthier relationship with food.  I have a plan and know that I am moving in the right direction.

For me, progress is steady improvement.  Dropping weight quickly is what got me into this mess…dropping it slowly will help to get me out of it!

Thank you for reading my progress thoughts!  Enjoy your holiday!

Melissa


Week 17 – Day 1 — Gym Anxiety

Well…today was day one of my new program. Up until today I’ve been doing all of my workouts at home. Today I ventured back into the weight room at the gym. I used to walk around that place and not blink an eye – it wouldn’t bother me at all!

Today was hard. I really struggled with it. I wore really baggy clothes and tried to hide my way through my workout. I wanted to draw as little attention as possible…which was hard because my program includes exercises that make me look like a crazy person!!!

This is a complete shift from how I used to be. I used to love the gym. I still like it, but wish I could have it all to myself:).

I pushed through it. I may feel defeated on one front, but I feel great on another.  I’m on week 17!  Week 17 of a program and diet that I can maintain and enjoy.

I’ll get comfortable at the gym again. You have to step out of your comfort zone to make changes right?!  Well then – change is a comin’!

Do you get gym anxiety?  How do you deal with it?

Positive disruption = positive change!!

Melissa


Week 16 – Day 6 — Change taking up too much thought space

Change… how do you feel when you hear/read that word?  I suppose it depends on the context it is used in.

For me it goes something like this:

Spare change = Yay!  Coffee money!

Change initiated by me = Changes that I think are positive and needed.

Change of any other kind = Let me stew on this for a bit and figure out how I feel about it.

There is something lingering in my mind and gaining more and more thought space as the days pass by.  There are some big changes in my not so distant future.  We are moving to another province, have to sell our house, pack all of our belongings and make the trek before Fall.  It really isn’t too far from where we live now, but it is just far enough from all of our family and friends.

Now, I am a positive person, but I am having trouble with this one.  I need some extra positive energy.  I have no motivation to get my house ready for sale.  I think that if I could find some positives about this move I would have that umph that I need!  In a previous blog post I discussed positive vs. negative motivation….I think I need some positive motivation!!

Help!!  What do you do when change shakes things up for you?  Do you put a positive spin on it and use that energy to keep moving forward?

Currently unmotivated and distressed!

Melissa


Week 15 – Day 6 — Chewing off bite sized pieces of a full plate

I am awake at 6am on a Sunday so that I can go get my workout in…yes this is voluntary!  There is no pressing reason for me to REALLY be doing this, I just want to.

I know what you’re thinking, “This girl is off her rocker!  It’s Sunday.  Go back to bed!” 

I used to go to the gym because I had to.  I had to get myself stage ready.  The thought of walking on stage in high heels and wearing next to nothing was pretty good motivation!  The issue with this is that I didn’t enjoy it.  I didn’t really want to be at the gym.  It became one more thing that I had to do.  It was like I tried to put too many things on my plate, because if it was overflowing and I was managing it, then everyone would see how capable I was.

I used to tell people about my jam-packed existence with pride, now I look back at it and find it a bit scary!!  What I was working toward actually started to define me — not good!  I am so glad those days are over! 

These days I enjoy my gym time.  It’ is just challenging enough and not overly time-consuming.  I find I work hard because I enjoy it.   No more just going through the motions! 

I’m happier and healthier in all facets of my life.  I have struck a good balance.  I’m taking on the world in a sensible way, and scrapping my old “pile it on” frame of mind🙂

Onward and upward!

Melissa

 


Week 14 – Day 5 — Milestone!

I’ve never been so excited about taking so long to lose a bit of weight!

Wow, nearly a full 15 weeks in!  15 weeks is really significant for me.  This is the longest I’ve stuck with a program since I last competed.  The last time I competed, I dieted for 15 weeks and lost 30lbs.  This time around, I honestly think I may have lost maybe 5lbs?  And that’s a definite maybe!

5 lbs vs. 30…. and I am so ok with it!  For the past 15 weeks I have learned to maintain a healthy lifestyle that is not overly demanding.  I eat clean, I exercise about 45 minutes 5 days a week, and that’s it!  Oh, and I’ll have a treat once in awhile :)  I really feel like my metabolism may be starting to realize that I am not going to put it through the ringer again.

Go me!  This new program is definitely paying off.  I’m a happier, healthier version of myself.

Happier Healthier Me!

Photo taken by my 4 year old son, as I lace up his skates🙂 Not the most flattering...but it captures my current outlook on life!

  

 

Week 13 – Day 5 — Rest Required!

I had a bit of a hiccup this week. Diet and training were both great, but I came down with a terrible cold!

Now, this was hard for me. I’ve got a good routine going, and this cold interrupted it! I felt like missing a workout was going to put an end to all of my progress.

Then…I gave my head a shake. When I’m sick I need to rest! My progress will continue. It is not based on one workout. It is based on a lifestyle change. So, chalk one up for me! I’m getting used to this long term healthiness-and realizing that one workout missed is not the end of the world. Go me!!

Does anyone else out there have similar thoughts?

Take care,
Melissa


Week 12 – Day 7 — Lighter?

People are starting to comment that I have lost weight. I’m really not sure that I have (refuse to step on the scale), but I’ll take the compliments nonetheless!

I’ve been on this road for 12 weeks. I have learned to eat healthy for the longterm, instead of for a short term purpose. I have also learned that exercise can be challenging AND enjoyable – and can be less than an hour a day. This is a lifestyle, not a quick fix.

I HAVE lost weight in a sense. I’ve lost the pressure to look a certain way and the emotional weight that goes with that. I feel a lot lighter in that sense🙂

It’s not easy. It is still challenging!! But I am starting to see that there is life after competition. It feels pretty great! There is a light at the end of the tunnel!!

Take care,
Melissa


Week 11 – Day 7 — Thoughts…

Well hello!  It is a beautiful day here in Atlantic Canada.  The sun is shining, and it is getting warmer and warmer these days.  I love it when the days get longer!  It definitely brings up the spirits!

I’m eating almond butter, Wasa crisps and drinking my morning coffee.  My little guy just finished his breakfast and is watching Looney Toons with his dad.  Life it good!  I really enjoy our Sunday mornings here at home – quiet and relaxing.

When I have this relaxation time, I tend to think.  Last night and today, my head has been spinning, constantly thinking of how technology has drastically changed our world is such a short amount of time.  Technology can do just about anything for us now.  We can stay in touch with people 24/7 be it through text message, facetime, or phone conversation.  We can learn our BMI by stepping on a scale.  We can post videos and photos just taken to social media sites for the world to see.  We can make one cup of coffee at a time (I love this one).  There are even cars that will park for us!

When I was younger, if someone had of told me what the world was going to look like nowadays, I am not sure that I would have believed them.  Now I am wondering what it is going to look like 10-20 years from now.  What kind of technology will my son grow up with?  He is already accustomed to touch screen technology.  Will he grow up in a world where keyboards are part of the past?  It is interesting to think about…

This brings me to my point.  Technology is in a constant state of new.  As consumers we explore the latest and greatest gadgets, etc all the time.  How do we incorporate this into our current existence?  Are we handling all of the newness well?  For example, when I grew up text messages did not exist.  Now for kids, text messaging and instant messaging are normal.  How do we ensure they are responsible with this technology?  Bullying seems to be more of an issue these days…online bullying too…is it due to a lack of educating kids to be responsible?  It is definitely easier to say something not so nice in a text or message, when the reader is not right in front of your face.  Are we being somewhat removed from reality?

This is true for adults as well.  I am guilty of being on my iPhone quite a bit.  I need to really think about when I use it.  Am I cutting into family time?  Am I paying attention to my phone when I should be paying attention to my family?  I am making a point to take breaks from it.  Like today (minus blogging), I will be spending the morning with my son – sans phone.  This way I can assure he is getting my undivided attention.

Do we need to plan breaks from technology?  I think that “powering off” once in a while will definitely help us to “reboot” (couldn’t resist – I am a sucker for corny jokes)!

Thank you for reading my rant – completely unrelated to training and diet :)  Now, back to my relaxing Sunday….

Melissa

 

 


This is fantastic! I choose life too🙂

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Week 17 – Day 6 — Ode to Girl Guide Cookies

Girl Guide Cookies

What is it that I can’t resist?

I’ve never had so much trouble with this.

Chocolate or vanilla, it’s up to me,

And all for a good cause it seems.

Stopping at one just can’t be done.

It  looks as though you have won.

Just what you do to me I’ll never quite know,

Why am I addicted to half-assed oreos?!

~**~


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